Showing posts with label Talking to myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talking to myself. Show all posts

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sandwiched

I am sandwiched between two groups of human being.
The educated, well-dressed professionals.
And the illiterate, shabbily-clothed patients.



The former is arrogant, has poor leadership, yet likes to shout and order people around, equates anger to awesomeness and frustration to greatness, and whines all day long wondering why does his or her life suck.


The latter is humble, polite, patient, soft-spoken, does not know much but definitely will not act smart, and most importantly, poor but is generous enough to spare you a smile. Definitely contented.



Keeping the sandwich in perfect shape is important to keep the system running.
Hope this helps me level up my EQ.


Saturday, August 06, 2011

What keeps me going...

Was feeling very frustrated after my 24-hour labour duty the day before followed by long hours of standing and going round and round the ward, depressed because I didn't have time to have breakfast, looking forward to finish everything off and leave the hospital, when my boss (whom everyone fear) decided to ask me attend to her private patient.

Argh!

So I started my duty as a part-time unpaid hospital tour guide and provided the best VIP service. Service and destination includes:

1. Escorted the patient to the Ultrasonography Room. Lined them up. Waited for their turn. Told them when they asked why do they have to wait so long. Waited while she got her transabdominal ultrasound done. Waited while the consultant explained to them about the scan result.

2. Thank god my boss was kind enough to let me go have my luch first. Actually she just let me off because she wants the patient to go have their lunch before the following procedure, that's how I got my chance off.

3. Met the patient at a time and place we agreed on before parting. Waited because they came late. But they got apologize lah. no big deal. anyway by that time i already had my lunch and felt a little better.



4. Escorted the patient to do PPTCT Counselling. Waited for the person-in-charge to come.Waited for her to do the counselling. Waited while they do a simple test. Waited for the next 15 minutes for the result. 


5. Escorted them to the lab. Explained to them why blood and urine test are needed because their question was: Didn't we get a scan done already. Why still need to test some more?
Felt like telling them, if you have doubts with what is to be done in the hospital, then dont come lah. Deliver at home. No need go through all the waiting and scanning and blood testing etc. Nope, of course I didn't say that. I'm not that kind of doctor. Come on!
Showed them where to make payment. Waited while she get her blood sample taken. Waited when she waited for her bladder to be filled up enough to evacuate them into her urine bottle. 

6. Escorted them to the labour room. Found her a bed for her to lie down. Informed the doctors on duty about this VIP patient of my boss. Actually, it is easy to get things done when you mention my boss' name. They did not procrastinate for even a minute to carry out the instructions that my boss has given. They connected the wires to put her on Non Stress Test, and I answered to the patient's question "What is this for?" Well, this will detect your baby's heart rate, and contractions of your uterus, and all these will be shown on this graph which is getting printed, including how many times your baby moves when you press this button. After 10 minutes, she said : "Actually I don't really understand how this thing works." So again I explained. Honestly, I've never seen any doctors give such lengthy explanation to patients in this hospital. Maybe most of the time I'm exposed to free ward patients, who are illiterate and ignorant. 


7. Waited while they wait to repeat Non Stress Test. It happened that the NST didn't turn out to be satisfactory as the fetal heart rate tracing was not really reassuring. So the doctors decided to do a second tracing. Trying to be positive, perhaps the baby is fast asleep. So they let the patient relax a bit, take a break, eat some biscuits, drink apple juice. But this definitely didn't do any good. The husband started asking why do they have to do a repeat test? Was there something wrong. They were getting anxious. And I definitely don't want to worry them more. Being a junior most doctor in the whole ward, I didn't want to say the wrong thing to them. So I ask the doctor to do the explanation. She gave them a not-for-layman explanation which I'm pretty sure did not help calm the patient down.

8. Connected the phone to the operator and then to my boss. The husband got restless and wanted to talk to my boss. And boss' phone couldn't get through. So waited and dialed and waited and dialed. Finally, they spoke. My boss gave orders to the doctors on duty and they decided for admission.



9. Made sure the patient is comfortably admitted in her room, was about to bid goodbye. I had waited for this moment since 12pm and it's now 6pm. Mind you I did not get to sit all these while. And she asked, "Why do I have to be admitted? I am not due until 23 August." "OK, well you see, you are already 37 weeks 2 days. Infact, you may deliver anytime from now on because your baby is mature enough already. Like what my boss told you earlier, your baby appeared a little smaller on the scan. This could be due to your familial trait as both you and your husband are not very tall.  But they want to keep a closer watch on your baby and you to make sure everything goes fine. Don't worry." I can totally understand her anxiety and apprehension being a primi. Not that I have any experience.
"Will you be staying back here with me?" She looked at me with her big round eyes. Really, she has big round eyes.

 "Oh, I'm so sorry. Actually I'm off duty and I am posted in another ward. If you have anything you can talk to those doctors just now. They are very nice. You don't have to worry."

 "But you are closest to me. You have been with me since just now. I feel comfortable with you. Will you come tomorrow?"


"I'm sorry I can't promise you yet as I have to complete my duties in the other ward. If I will definitely drop by to see you okay? Rest well."
She thanked me, still looking a bit worried.


I told myself I will find time to drop in to see her tomorrow. I hope it is not inappropriate for me to do so as she is in the private ward and interns don't handle official work for private patients, which means I will be "illegally" visiting her. 


My job as the VIP tour guide is done. But I was happy as I left the hospital. Not because such a tedious and not-my-business duty is over. But because patient was grateful for what I've done for her and she made me feel important as a healthcare provider.

I wasn't cursing my boss anymore for giving me extra tasks and making my life miserable. Instead, I'm glad that she gave me a chance to self-learn how to deal with patients, how to build up good rapport. 



I'm also fortunate that the patients speak English and are pretty well-mannered. The husband got a little cranky after a long tiring wait in the hospital but he still spoke nicely. His pregnant wife must be even more tired than him and I. But I managed to communicate them without any language barriers or emotional outburst.

A simple gesture of appreciation, is what keeps me going.


Monday, September 22, 2008

重新上路!!

每个人 都有脑袋。
每个人 都会思考。
但为何我的脑袋比任何人的思考那么多?
惹来一大堆的烦恼。
哎~ 可笑吧?

没关系,反正现在把心情整理好咯!
超开心的!
不再想那么多了!

或许也因为有人给了定心丸,
现在
信心十足、精神饱满的我,
要上路咯!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

what should i say?

it was Saturday afternoon. longing for this last class to get over by 4pm.
using the antique over head projector, Madam was changing the yellowish transparency one after another, explaining meanwhile.
students were copying down the notes, or reading other stuff under the table, or dozing off with eyes wide open, or playing games with their mobile phones.

suddenly...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? SLEEPING? GET UP!! YOU !! YES YOU!! SLEEPING?? GO OUT!!"

blur-looking boy got up...mumbled something like "no ma'am i wasnt"..

"birthday boy!! ~haaappy birthdaaay to yooouuuu~..hahahahaaaaa..."

"WHAT? *BUTTER*DAY? I DONT CARE..I KNOW YOU ARE SLEEPING. GET OUT!! AND YOU! YES THE ONE BEHIND! YOU ARE ALSO SLEEPING? GET OUT!!"

"no ma'am...i wasnt sleeping.."

"GET OUT!!"

"no ma'am...(explanation and explanation)"

"GET OUT!!"

"oh no birthday boy...~~happy birthday to you~~waaakaaakaaaa....muuaaahhaaaahaaaa... "

*Killer Stare ALERT!!* Madam switched off the OHP, grabbed her transparencies and stomped off. upon reaching the door, she turned. *Higher Voltage Stare ALERT*

"ALL OF YOU WILL BE MARKED ABSENT FOR 2 CLASSES!!"

class shouted : "NO MA'AM..PLS MA'AM...SORRY MA'AM....hahahahahahaha"

immediately the lecture hall turned into a fish market...guys cheering for their victory upon defeating their target...girls complaining about their innocence and for losing their attendance..

someone came trotting down the hall towards the door...it was the class representative...

class remained a fish market...

10 minutes later, class rep came back and told everyone off, giving warning to those who created the havoc.

So, class ended early. indeed.
everyone happy?

me? hahaha..whatever...
i hurried back to hostel before it started pouring...

Friday, July 25, 2008

不能输给压力!

考试要到了,许多人都开始紧张了。
也许我不想承认,不过我好像也是啦。
我知道这样很不好,
所以拼命提醒自己要平静心情。

还得一直鼓励自己,给自己很多很多的力量!


最近怎么搞的?
想煮粥就会放太少水,结果煮成饭。
不管了,饿了就吞。
想煮饭,也会变成粥。
有得吃就吃,没时间埋怨。


最近,身边的人的怪脾气,
都因为考试压力的缘故,
一一显露出来了。
我希望我不是这样,
也希望他们不要这样。
要天天对自己微笑,
保持好心情!


加油加油!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

小鸟之去匆匆

“那天晚上救了一只出世不久的 小鸟。
可它今天死了,好难过,有感情了。”

短短的一封“越洋”简讯,
平凡的一件小事,
却让我停下手上的工作,
不自觉地沉思在回忆里。

发简讯的你,是否也和我一样想着同样一件事。
我能了解你的难过。
我想,你也是想起在天国的那小生命。

世间万事难料。
许多东西,往往是在与它插身而过时,
才特别地对它不舍。
生命更亦如此。
越小的生命,越是脆弱,
越是令人替他惋惜。

别再难过,别再为过去难过。
为离开的,
以一声“阿弥陀佛”,
护送他们到西方去。

珍惜拥有,
期待明天的另一个美好。

Saturday, July 12, 2008

凌晨三点钟

已是凌晨两点半了,我的眼睛还睁得大大的,一点睡意都没有。
并不是在读书,而是从刚才十点多就在网上流浪到现在。

原本是想找那人聊聊天,偏偏远方的他却不出现。
结果最终沉迷于我的新嗜好--读部落格。
从几何时,我染上了这习惯,甚至一度上瘾了。

最近好像没把情绪控制好。对朋友们都没问题,反而是对自己和家人耍脾气。
也不晓得为什么。又或许是任性,就算知道为何却不愿意承认。
还蛮爱往牛角尖转。明知道转错地方了,还执迷不悟,转到最后卡住了,爬不出来。

不过现在还好啦!
想一想,都这么大个人了,就不要那么孩子脾气。
就算很久没有好好松懈、好好撒个娇、也没必要把自己搞到这样,蓝蓝的。

其实,会这样子或许也是自己一厢情愿地认为这次假期过得不太好。
没能去旅行,唱唱歌,透透气,充充电。
其实,这应该都是自己心里作怪吧!
怎么可以有贪念呢?
人总是因为贪而带来不必要的烦恼。
这次,我也不例外。

好吧!坚持多一点,在吃多点苦,没关系!
将来一定有一天,会有机会去玩的!
(但是不可订时间日起,否则会大失所望的咯!)

大学不放我假也没关系!
自己应该学习在适当的时候放松自己。
保持身心平衡,平静心情,同时努力王目标迈进。

哇!! 说是很容易啦!!
我可需要好多好多好多的力量!!
也许这条路并不太辛苦,也许不是我一个人在走,
而是我的自我让我忽略了沿途陪着我的家人与朋友。
真的很抱歉,也很感激。

明天星期六,还得去医院及上课。
明天会是忙碌的一天。
应该也是美好的新的一天。
把乱七八糟的心情打扫了一下,
没有借口可让自己偷懒咯!

凌晨三点钟,
是时候告辞了!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

*boom boom* INFLATION *boom*


waaa...everything is increasing in price... even my HOSTEL !!! increase of accommodation fee by 20% !!!
well...i know nothing about economics or mathematics or whatever that deals with numbers...
i dunno if such an increase is a big hike...but i know my money is going lesser n lesser... in this case, HOW TO BUY MY DREAM HOUSE??? HOW TO GO TRAVELING???
i dont buy lottery, so there's no chance at all of having a big sum of money falling down from sky...
really must jimat jimat liao lah...

Monday, June 30, 2008

Hi from Bengaluru International Airport

My 2-week holidays flew pass just like that. I'm now again in India.
Right now I'm sitting in the new Bangalore Airport, waiting for my next flight to Belgaum at 9.15am. There is much time to kill. Luckily I'm not alone. Shabbi and Ashwin are here as well.

I don't feel as excited as I was traveling back to Penang. But I do feel like I'm going back to a place where I'm supposed to be. Also a kind of ''going-home'' feeling. Probably I'm too used to my hectic daily routine. I feel exhausted at the end of the day but it was fruitful. I'm glad.

Back at home, however, life is too sedentary. No discipline (mom needs to yell at her top of her voice many times to wake me up), no stress, no ''to-do-list''. After a while, I no longer feel comfortable with this kind of lifestyle.
Even though it was my own house, own room, own cupboard, I feel like I'm just a temporary resident in the house. I dont take my clothes out from the cupboard, I take them from my luggage. I dont find my toothbrush on the basin, I take them out from my toiletries pouch. I dunno where are the knife,plates,mugs,soyasauce,flour, etc are in the kitchen.

And most importantly, I DON'T GET TO DRIVE AROUND!!! So wutever i wanna do i gotta be like...''mommy...i need to get this...get that..i need to go here...i need to go there...'' and mommy will fetch me.. . I know my dad n mom are just worried and protective coz i havent been driving for such long period. But then, I feel odd. Coz in India, i used to get things done by myself. But now i cant. It's ok lah... try to enjoy being a princess for once...

Luckily Bangalore New Airport got wireless. I need to send an sms which cost me Rs3 to get the password. And i can use for 1 hour. Not bad maa hoh..hehehe... Another 7 hours to kill. Not so bad lah hoh? hehehe... hope i can survive this..

And to my ''YL-14'', here i come... hope u are not too dirty n filled with moss for me to clean up...have some mercy on me...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Things that i want to do when i go home.... *grin grin*

watch KUNG FU PANDA...the only reason is there's panda...n i need to laugh more to be healthier...haha..

wanna sleep on my big big bed, hugging my soft soft pillow, without alarm clock..
(need to make sure the pest is not around to disturb)

want to play piano

want to let everyone try my steam fish...muahaha...very excited!!


wanna make pancake for Apple the Monster...

wanna eat Gurney Drive mua chee...

wanna eat Nasi Lemak...

wanna eat hokkien mee...preferably Jit Sin Canteen one...

Must eat nasi goreng pattaya...!!!


wanna eat kuey teow thng...

wanna eat thai food...pineapple fried rice...

and cheese cake!!!


and many many more things that i wanna do...and eat especially!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

p~i~a~n~o

i miss my piano...

when i m away from home, besides the dear ones and the good food, i miss my piano a lot...was just reading my friends' blogs, and they have some soft music played at the background... n they are all nice, soothing music played with the piano...i kept playing back the background music again and again...
oh...it makes me miss the feeling of running my fingers on the keyboard, or 'banging' the keys hard when i feel like it...
i know i cant play well...but my parents and brother think i play the nicest piece of music...hahaha...anyway..as long as i enjoy myself..who cares? hahaha...
i really love the piano scenes in jay chou's 'secret'...awesome...!!! and the antique grand piano...i dont dream of having it...but i do wish i can be in the music room...hehe...

Monday, March 24, 2008

~* 突然想 blog *~

终于,我又blog 了。
好久好久都不
blog 了,一直认为没什么可写的。
由于我觉得没必要向我的
blog禀报我的每日行程,所以就把它搁在一旁。

以前如果会blog 也是因为有烦恼又或者是有新体验,由或者是领悟了什么。
后来,慢慢将一些事情放下后,也就不
blog 了。

近一年多来总觉得怪怪的。觉得日子很快很快的溜走,而我却不觉得自己很快很快的成熟、成长。年龄是增加了没错, 但心智好像还停留在当年觉醒后的那一刻。

或许 已很久没有和能聊的朋友一同分析人生。
或许
一直以为自己做得很好、懂得很多,而忘了自我反省和提升。
或许
偶尔听到了什么新道理 看到了什么新事物 了解了什么新概念却没有把它blog 起来。结果就忘记了。

已有好一段时间,一直在嘻嘻哈哈过日子。是时候安下心来,踏踏实实的,稳中的,做个像医生的医学生。

今天决定要用华文来写,原因是:比较好表达我的心声。虽然很费时,才刚写开场白就花了二十分钟,不过还是想写。时间已是凌晨十二点多,作业还没写完、明天要上的课业还没准备。但,如果我现在不写,明天也不会写,后天也不会。这样下去,又不知道了事后我才会记得提醒我自己。

上个周末,不知为何肚子忽然剧痛,真的痛得要命。 幸好后来慢慢好起来。

虽然没去看医生,但(妈妈说)很可能是我精神紧张、压力太大。虽然我不以为然,但还是听妈妈的话好。毕竟,旁观者清。因此,决定让自己放假。课还是去上,不过就少温习功课,多听了点歌,多和朋友哈拉。放轻松嘛!由于没有假期,所以就不能奢望去哪里度假,只能给自己几天的短假。而今天正是“假期”的最后一天。明天开始,就得以我的turbo mode开始赶路咯! 这次上路,就是到六月了。得马不停蹄,否则,不让自己回家。

最近,上网看了一些新闻,也接触了一些新朋友。小小的一些事情,让我看透了、也理解了不少。详情没办法讲(一讲就会讲到天亮),不过,还是有所收获。

第一、人家爱做什么就做什么,和我完全不相干。

第二、 表现大放一点,就不会因为别人的小小举动而不满。

第三、要聪明一点,不要被人利用了。(不是我不帮人)常常都会因为人家脸上的那一丝笑容而被骗,迟迟都未发现那种拉到耳朵上去的笑脸是可以赢得金马奖的咧,而且是在需要你的时候才会绽放的!自己偶尔吃了点小亏,就算没有,却是别人占了便宜。
(我承认对这一点我是有些“不大方、不潇洒”。我是爱帮人,为的不是人家的感激或赞美,但我真的不喜欢被利用!)

第四、最近发现,身边的人虽然总是笑口常开,其实背后却有着他们各自的故事。在这里,不便多说。总而言之,他们的勇气与毅力,真得让我好佩服好佩服。常以为自己“很惨”。相比之下,不管路是否坎坷,或者自己认为路有多难走,我的处境怎样都不比他们的差,他们却能那么的勇敢、那么的坚强,实在让我很敬佩,也很忏悔自己没有那种毅力, 只会随口说要怎么样怎么样。真的以他们为榜样,向他们学习。

第五、常常会忘了实践一直都没忘记的这个道理:“多观察,就会有所领悟”。或许是有观察,但是之后却很爱给评论。其实, 嘴巴用多了领悟能力就会降低。所以,少说+多看+多想。而且,闲谈不论人非!


大概就是这样。

希望,一直在难境中坚强挣扎、勇敢踏步的他们,继续保持着那种力量!而我,也会默默的祝福他们。

加油吧!上路去

Saturday, February 16, 2008

16th February 2008

it's 16 feb.
21 years after 1987, the day i came to this beautiful world.
it's my birthday today.
din get to celebrate at home, but i have a bunch of frens here and i received lots of wishes.
was really happy...felt so lucky...

stopped blogging a very long time ago.
ever since i start seeing things differently.
in the sense that, i dont hold on too strongly on things which had happened, or things which i can never get.
basically, i used to blog to keep a record on my emotions and mood, rather than what i experienced, learned, or gained.

well, i dont know what m i gonna blog about this time....
or will i even continue blogging...
who knows this blog might comes useful one day...

smile...sun shines bright...the journey ahead is gonna be a good one...
here m i...ready for the new journey...!!!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

@ f T 3 R~ **6** ~ M 0 n T h S

ah~chooo.. ah~chooo...spider web everywhere...
puff...i think i jz got some grey compact powder on my face..

hehe..poor bloggie is left stranded for soo long...6 months? no..i think is 7...

yoo hoo!!! im back... happy to see me?

actually it took me bout half an hour to log in to my blogger account..
first i forgot wut username i used...then is the new google-blogger thingy...
finally i made it through..haha..

din feel like blogging all this while..reason? not too sure...
but since im getting kinda bored here..feeling life is getting more unproductive...
maybe i should do something...yeah...do something?

for the time being...still don feel like blogging...
give me some time to clean up the dusty corner and shoo the spiders off..
catch up with u guys soon...soon..how soon? hehehe..
perhaps another 6 months...*grin*

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

d@ b3g1nN!ng 0f mY 4th mOntH iN !nDiA

3 months hav passed..that's fast..a quarter of a year is over..that's wut the PG said to us..

was sick on sunday..woke up dizzy..felt nausea later in the afternoon..threw up in the evening..slept..woke up at dinner time feeling so much better..fever hadnt subside..skipped monday morning class..felt nausea in the evening again after gulping down 2 glasses of juice...hahaha..slept again..woke up feeling perfectly fine!! wut a speedy recovery..but there goes my sunday n monday..
it's ok..i got to sleep so well without setting my alarm clock..haha..

i start disliking the food already..i really hav no appetite seeing all these orange or red colour food..it became worse after i fell sick..i've lose enough of weight..i want to eat more..but wut can i eat?

1st internals are coming soon...PHYSIOLOGY 23rd November..ANATOMY is around december..BIOCHEMISTRY..no news..gotta study hard..anyone sees me roaming online..pls remind me of studying k..hahaha..
have to study well for biochem tutorial this week..the PG wants us to go the the front n teach the class..if u cant do it u lose ur attendance..?! fat guy...u wait n see..!! i wont let u do that..dont think u r that great..!!

oh no..wut's wrong with me..i enjoyed dissection? until the extent that i dreamt about going for dissection class? haha..may the cadavers bless me in my exams..muahaha...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

~ I'm Back !! ~

hey people..finally i m able to get internet connection in my room..thanks to calista..

yeeah..im now in belgaum, india..jawaharlal nehru medical college..the only best thing they have in this college is the musical fountain in front of the college..does anyone out there c a reason y is there a musical fountain in a medical college? i have no idea...but the fountain n the garden is really really nice..

ok..about studies..ppl here study day n night..n everywhere..n they are really weird..the gals ask us not to go for class..n the reason is..no guys are going..n they are so afraid of attending tutorials if they din prepare well and will escape at the last minute before lecturer came juz bcoz they feel embarrassed if they cant answer it perfectly..they are not able to show that they are smart...n not becoz they are afraid of being scolded for not studying...boo..

next..food..hmm...first day..it was hard for me to swallow the food..wut was it? hmm..dahl..yogurt (indian yogurt)..n wut eva.. after that..fine...start liking the food...it's all vegetarian..only on wednesday we get eggs n chickens on sundays...but after one month..i feel so sick by looking at the food...aiyoh...everyday same menu...argh..help!!! i want nasi lemak.. i want sushi.. i want loh mee... i want... roti canai...i don want capati everyday... aih...

im so sleepy..there are so much that i want to tell..but i juz dunno how to organize them..aih..forget bout it..tell u guys when we chat on msn or yahoo ..

my address is CH-02, Akkamahadevi International Ladies Hostel, Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College Campus, Nehru Nagar, Belgaum 590 010, Karnataka. my number is +91 99864 96389. write to me or send me msg yah...

(yawning)..i think i gotta go...cant open my eyes at all...
oh ya..about pictures..i'l post it elsewhere..something like a photo bucket or photo album...any suggestion? thanks..
bye...
take care..

Friday, July 14, 2006

- t ! t L 3 -

yeehaa..windows life messenger BETA and yahoo messenger BETA are fun..
had my first try out this morning..added my MSN contact in yahoo messenger..and started talking to myself..
wanted to try adding other friends..but no one seem to be online..so can only experiment it..oh..nono..not experiment..i mean..experience it by this way..
SO LAME !!

was playing badminton with sis at my house compound n mom was watering the plants...and she called out to us...
" hey...come n see this two fellas.."
we went over..and guess wut..it was grasshopper papa n grasshopper mama..(ehem)..they were..(ehem)..
i quickly grabbed my camera and start snapping pictures of this 'live show'..
well..cant take video..coz it is quite boring lah..as there wasnt any movements..hehe..
by the way..realised tat my photo-taking skill is not good enough..or should i say..not good at all..
i need a master..who can be my sifu..
or is it because my camera has only 4.0 mega pixels so the pics i took don look too nice..haha..excuses..
SO LAME !!

and also..it is SO LAME to keep using the phrase SO LAME..
but im using it for the sake of beeing SO LAME..

well..have been crapping a lot in my recent posts..should be more knowledgable next time..
im already 19+ ..have to act like 20..haha..
don wanna be the LAME school gal who talks a lot of nonsence anymore..

(wut a NATO!)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

- tH3 uN+!tL3d -

a little update bout my life..

final exam is juz 2 weeks away..yet..lecturers are still giving us assignments..i juz don understand y do u all like to give us assignments during the most hectic time..when we were free before mid semester why didnt u all give us some...y dont u all juz equalize the workload throughout the whole sem? ok..nth to complain..becoz we are so used to the last-minute-spirit of yours..right? well..no big deal..i'll juz do it..for the sake of doing..since you all are giving us all these for the sake of giving..arent you? nvm..nvm..i know u all well..

what is playing in my mind..

okie..so..these days..life..ppl..things..anything..is just so unpredictable..or should i say..mysterious..
well..unpredictable life is predictable..so..that does no harm to me...
but..ppl..mysterious..hmm..yah..mysterious..when u tot u know them well..but they turn out to give u lots of question marks about themselves..

ok..ok..how m i going to say this?

to the one who i want you to know..
i want you to know that..
-i care, we care, n everyone cares for u
-i m, we are, n everyone is worried bout u
-sometimes..we..or maybe juz i..wonder..do u know whether wut u r doing right now is right?
-sometimes..we..or maybe juz i..wonder..r u doing wut u r doing right now willingly?
-sometimes..we..or maybe juz i..wonder..wut is the main priority to u now?
-sometimes..we..or maybe juz i..wonder..r u still awake..just like u say u had?
-sometimes..we..or maybe juz i..do feel that i m a busy body for bothering so much
-but somehow..i don understand..if what u do is nth wrong..y is there opposition by so many ppl?
-but somehow..it just seem to be not right? or is it juz my wrong perception?
-but somehow..our priorities seem to have differed from each others..

i wish to get all my doubts answered..but can u give me a clear answer? or do u hav the answer to urself?
may god bless u..may our worries n concern..can be transformed into a protection to shield over u...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

^ h@v i cHanGeD 0r h@v ! nOt ^

phew..exam is over..another month to go n i'll be out of this place..yoohoo..cant wait..

ok..anyway..i realised i juz don know myself lately..kinda hard for me to say that out..but i juz wish i can go to another new world..i no longer want to stay at the situation like this right now..

Monday, April 17, 2006

- dA c@mP -

juz came back from the Biro Tatanegara Camp..did learn something there..realised that it's time for us to learn what we are supposed to..which are things such as the country's politic, economy and also about the world outside..yeah..had gain new insights through this camp...(lazy to list them out here >.< )

however, we are quite curious about their main motif of sending us to the camp..coz some sentimental racial issues are brought up..not by us but by the fasciliatators themselves..and in certain aspects..their ways of thinking is kinda extreme..hmm...dont wanna talk much bout it here... anyway..i juz hope that the way i see things like this all this while is not wrong..in fact..a lot of us have positive perception on the nation...but we just dont understand why they might have thought we are not.. confusing yet..unexplainable..

k...forget bout this... well..did have some fun at the camp..altho my muscles are still aching after the 2km run at the slopes..it was not bad actually..i know i don hav stamina..haha..but anyway..i completed the run..not the fastest but not the slowest though.. the best part is...i did abseiling...TWICE..haha..it wasn't scarry as i thought it would be..it is so much less thrilling than roller coasters or solero shot..haha...n i did it twice..wanted to try walking down "horizontally" from the 10 metres high-tower like demonstrated by the coach...but they didnt allow me to do so coz i muz at least do the normal sliding down for 10 times before i can "walk" down... we didn't hav the chance to try out flying fox due to the rain and some maintenance work need to be done on the things...

5 days camping + 1 day holiday..back to college tml..gonna be exhausted with the hectic life again...nvm...it's a routine...