India and Peace?

A terrorist bombing.
A 4.2 quake.
Both happened in Delhi.
On the same day.
7 September 2011.

Hope all my friends and their family are safe in Delhi.
And also hope that nothing shall hinder my trip to North.

Please say a prayer for India.

Finally (almost)

Despite being in India for 5 years, I have yet to visit Taj Mahal.
In fact, when I was awarded my scholarship to pursue medicine in India, I had doubts. I was reluctant because in my opinion, India is overcrowded, dirty, smelly, etc etc.

I still remember I was sitting in the lecture hall in Kedah Matriculation College. I was not in the mood to attend lecture (such an emo teenager back then). When the lecturer started the class, her desktop wallpaper showed up on the projector screen. 


It was a magnificent picture of Taj Mahal which left me in awe.

Immediately I shook my friend who was sitting next to me and told her, "That's it! I am going to India. Because I want to go to Taj Mahal."

That was how I made up my mind to study in India.

Now that I am almost done with my degree here, I still haven't set foot at one of the wonders of the world.


But I'm on my way. Currently in the planning phase. Hopefully my dreams come true next month. 

"My hobby is to become a doctor"

Mansi was visiting her grand-uncle in the private ward when she decided to popped her head in front of me and watched me complete some documentation. I smiled at her and continued my work as I was running out of time to complete the many things unaccomplished. She was watching me for some 10 minutes and finally decided to talk to me.

"What's your name?"

"3R1N, and yours?"

"Mansi."

"Are you from China?"
*laugh*
"Err, my grandparents were."

"Who are you visiting?"
"My...erm...grandmother's...erm....brother."
Perhaps that's too complicated for her to relate. 

"So do you want to become a doctor?"

She nodded eagerly with a big smile.

"Is that why you are so interested in what I am doing right now?"
"Yeah! My hobby is to become a doctor." *Full of confidence*

WOW!!!!!
"You mean, your ambition?"

She blushed. Oops.

"How old are you?"
"I'm 12years old. I go to i-cant-remember-what-she-said School."

"Can you read what I'm writing?"
"No. But you write very fast."
"Hmmm, well, I have to."
"Does your hand hurt writing so fast?"
"Not really. I'm used to it."

"So what doctor do you want to be next time?"

Since she is so ambitious and confident, I thought she might already have a speciality in mind.

"I want to be like you."

*pause* "HAHAHAHAHAHA!* 

Seriously, I just got to know her, or rather, we just spoke for 5 minutes, and I wasn't even attending to a patient, I was doing paperwork. Which part of that impressed her? I am just an intern. I am not one of those consultants who walked with aura and a flock of postgraduates,house surgeons, nurses and students scrambling behind him.

For a kid like her to be inspired to become a doctor, I pictured a scene like this.

A doctor swings his stethoscope around his neck, rushes in behind the curtains, performs CPR frantically, shouts "CLEAR" and then pushes a pair of iron-like-thingy into the patient's chest and made the almost lifeless fella bounce 2 feet high, and finally the flat line on the monitor shows some spikes.

This was what we used to see in the Hong Kong soap operas before House MD and Grey's Anatomy era.

"So, do you know that besides this ward, there are other wards on the other side of the hospital, which is the free ward, where the poor patients are admitted because they can't afford the medications and surgeries?"

"Yes."

"So, next time when you become a doctor, will you attend to them? The free ward is not beautiful like this one is. It is very crowded and pretty uncomfortable to be at. They are not educated like us. But they are ill too. Will you treat them like treating everyone else."

"Yes." No hesitation at all.

She's a sweet girl. I hope when she grows up and successfully becomes what she wants to be, she will not forget what she said.

I enjoyed chatting with her. I asked if she will come again tomorrow and at what time. She ran off into the room and came out as I was leaving to tell me that she will be here around 5 to 5.30pm. She was still walking with me all the way down the corridor until I exit the door. But I told her I may or may not be here at that particular time. She says ok. 

I wanted to exchange emails with her. Unfortunately she doesn't have one. She only has her father's.

She made my day. Not because she wants to "be like me", but talking to her lighten up my mood.

Immediately after I left the private ward and went to the free ward, I had a bad time with my blur, bossy, annoying, problematic superior. It really irritates me when someone gives you instructions when she herself is confused about what she wants to do. I tried so hard not to explode and kept reminding myself to not let this ruin my happiness. Sniffed back the escaping aqueous, I finished my work and called it a day.

Sandwiched

I am sandwiched between two groups of human being.
The educated, well-dressed professionals.
And the illiterate, shabbily-clothed patients.


The former is arrogant, has poor leadership, yet likes to shout and order people around, equates anger to awesomeness and frustration to greatness, and whines all day long wondering why does his or her life suck.


The latter is humble, polite, patient, soft-spoken, does not know much but definitely will not act smart, and most importantly, poor but is generous enough to spare you a smile. Definitely contented.

Keeping the sandwich in perfect shape is important to keep the system running.
Hope this helps me level up my EQ.

What keeps me going...

Was feeling very frustrated after my 24-hour labour duty the day before followed by long hours of standing and going round and round the ward, depressed because I didn't have time to have breakfast, looking forward to finish everything off and leave the hospital, when my boss (whom everyone fear) decided to ask me attend to her private patient.

Argh!

So I started my duty as a part-time unpaid hospital tour guide and provided the best VIP service. Service and destination includes:

1. Escorted the patient to the Ultrasonography Room. Lined them up. Waited for their turn. Told them when they asked why do they have to wait so long. Waited while she got her transabdominal ultrasound done. Waited while the consultant explained to them about the scan result.

2. Thank god my boss was kind enough to let me go have my luch first. Actually she just let me off because she wants the patient to go have their lunch before the following procedure, that's how I got my chance off.

3. Met the patient at a time and place we agreed on before parting. Waited because they came late. But they got apologize lah. no big deal. anyway by that time i already had my lunch and felt a little better.

4. Escorted the patient to do PPTCT Counselling. Waited for the person-in-charge to come.Waited for her to do the counselling. Waited while they do a simple test. Waited for the next 15 minutes for the result. 

5. Escorted them to the lab. Explained to them why blood and urine test are needed because their question was: Didn't we get a scan done already. Why still need to test some more?
Felt like telling them, if you have doubts with what is to be done in the hospital, then dont come lah. Deliver at home. No need go through all the waiting and scanning and blood testing etc. Nope, of course I didn't say that. I'm not that kind of doctor. Come on!
Showed them where to make payment. Waited while she get her blood sample taken. Waited when she waited for her bladder to be filled up enough to evacuate them into her urine bottle. 

6. Escorted them to the labour room. Found her a bed for her to lie down. Informed the doctors on duty about this VIP patient of my boss. Actually, it is easy to get things done when you mention my boss' name. They did not procrastinate for even a minute to carry out the instructions that my boss has given. They connected the wires to put her on Non Stress Test, and I answered to the patient's question "What is this for?" Well, this will detect your baby's heart rate, and contractions of your uterus, and all these will be shown on this graph which is getting printed, including how many times your baby moves when you press this button. After 10 minutes, she said : "Actually I don't really understand how this thing works." So again I explained. Honestly, I've never seen any doctors give such lengthy explanation to patients in this hospital. Maybe most of the time I'm exposed to free ward patients, who are illiterate and ignorant. 


7. Waited while they wait to repeat Non Stress Test. It happened that the NST didn't turn out to be satisfactory as the fetal heart rate tracing was not really reassuring. So the doctors decided to do a second tracing. Trying to be positive, perhaps the baby is fast asleep. So they let the patient relax a bit, take a break, eat some biscuits, drink apple juice. But this definitely didn't do any good. The husband started asking why do they have to do a repeat test? Was there something wrong. They were getting anxious. And I definitely don't want to worry them more. Being a junior most doctor in the whole ward, I didn't want to say the wrong thing to them. So I ask the doctor to do the explanation. She gave them a not-for-layman explanation which I'm pretty sure did not help calm the patient down.

8. Connected the phone to the operator and then to my boss. The husband got restless and wanted to talk to my boss. And boss' phone couldn't get through. So waited and dialed and waited and dialed. Finally, they spoke. My boss gave orders to the doctors on duty and they decided for admission.


9. Made sure the patient is comfortably admitted in her room, was about to bid goodbye. I had waited for this moment since 12pm and it's now 6pm. Mind you I did not get to sit all these while. And she asked, "Why do I have to be admitted? I am not due until 23 August." "OK, well you see, you are already 37 weeks 2 days. Infact, you may deliver anytime from now on because your baby is mature enough already. Like what my boss told you earlier, your baby appeared a little smaller on the scan. This could be due to your familial trait as both you and your husband are not very tall.  But they want to keep a closer watch on your baby and you to make sure everything goes fine. Don't worry." I can totally understand her anxiety and apprehension being a primi. Not that I have any experience.
"Will you be staying back here with me?" She looked at me with her big round eyes. Really, she has big round eyes.

 "Oh, I'm so sorry. Actually I'm off duty and I am posted in another ward. If you have anything you can talk to those doctors just now. They are very nice. You don't have to worry."

 "But you are closest to me. You have been with me since just now. I feel comfortable with you. Will you come tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry I can't promise you yet as I have to complete my duties in the other ward. If I will definitely drop by to see you okay? Rest well."
She thanked me, still looking a bit worried.


I told myself I will find time to drop in to see her tomorrow. I hope it is not inappropriate for me to do so as she is in the private ward and interns don't handle official work for private patients, which means I will be "illegally" visiting her. 


My job as the VIP tour guide is done. But I was happy as I left the hospital. Not because such a tedious and not-my-business duty is over. But because patient was grateful for what I've done for her and she made me feel important as a healthcare provider.

I wasn't cursing my boss anymore for giving me extra tasks and making my life miserable. Instead, I'm glad that she gave me a chance to self-learn how to deal with patients, how to build up good rapport. 


I'm also fortunate that the patients speak English and are pretty well-mannered. The husband got a little cranky after a long tiring wait in the hospital but he still spoke nicely. His pregnant wife must be even more tired than him and I. But I managed to communicate them without any language barriers or emotional outburst.

A simple gesture of appreciation, is what keeps me going.

*When Five Fell*

A short film directed by Wesley Chan from Wong Fu Productions.

Totally love the way he personifies the objects to portray the feelings and connections with a girl.

《欒樹紅了》心灵讲座

谢丽华博士又写了新书，7月17日在静思书轩和大家分享这本书。

早在1999年，小学班主任给我们推荐了《欢喜感恩》，作者正是谢丽华博士，书里头还附加静思语小卡。

如今，有机会亲自出席她的讲座，心中非常欢喜，也特别地期待。

书名的第一个字 — 欒（栾），究竟怎么念？
哦，原来该念成“luán”。

 “今天的我们与过去的我们息息相关。”

谢丽华博士谈到了软十力，应用在生活中，会有极大帮助。

1. 安静的能力
   ~闭上眼睛聆听周遭的声音，聆听自己的心跳，有助于让六根清静。
   倘若在同一时间内，又是说话，又是东张西望，又是听唧唧喳喳的谈话，这些感官信号同时往我们的大脑冲击，导致头脑错乱而起杂念，包括贪、嗔、痴。
   
   
2. 专注力
   ~我们除了看周边得人事物，也不要忘了看看自己心中的烦恼。每一个烦恼，每一件事情，都有一个起因。
   当然， 也不要抱这负面的思想或不好的念头，因为这样我们自然而然会奖一连串不相关的事情接连起来，然后编出一堆乱七八糟的理由，让自己觉得很倒霉。
   
   
3. 感动的能力
   ~容易被感动的人，就会感恩，也会快乐。把自己缩小，周围的事情或事物，就算是小小一件，也会看起来很美好。
   
   “我很富有， 因为我没有奢求，没有想要买那些买不起的东西。”
   
   
4. 欣赏的能力
   ~不要被成果或成绩影响我们对人或事物的判断。学习看别人的好，看别人的优点，看他们努力中诚心地付出，再把它稍微放大，就算结果不怎么特出，也应该为他们的那分心意鼓掌。
   
   
5. 联想力
   ~ 把别人的美好，转化为自己的最好。
   LOGIC will take you from A to B;IMAGINATION will take you anywhere.
   
   
6. 整合与分析能力
   ~ 整合“事”—能把诸多的好集合，也能去芜存菁。
      整合“人”—合心协力，增加的不只是人力，还有人气和心力。
   ~许多事情，不一定要照着原始或最普遍的做法去做。  就如断臂钢琴师刘伟说的：“没有人规定钢琴要用手弹。”
   
   
7. 处理问题与情绪的能力
   ~套证严上人的一句话：面对它、处理它、放下它。   我们要往前走，不要一直往后看，不然走路回跌倒哦。 
   ~把坚强变柔软，就不会软弱。
   
   
8. 人际能力
   ~除了脸带笑容，我们得学一学说话的艺术、沟通的技巧、声音的大小，更重要的是，聆听的能力。
   ~话，不能随便说，而是要用心讲。
   ~恋爱的人，之所以轻声细语，是因为他们的心靠得很进； 
    相骂的人，之所以高声喊叫，是因为他们的心离得很远。
   
   
9. 善解与包容力
   ~你对，别人未必错。   我们须有一颗开放的心、真诚的心、祝福的心、警惕的心、同理心、平等心，才能活在知足、感恩及善解中。
   ~先让的人县赢，因为只有有能力的人才让得起。
   
   
10. 行动力
    ~就算你懂很多，但是如果都没有做到，那业没什么了不起的。

听完讲座，受益不浅，满心欢喜啊！

白云·蓝天

Cretinism

A father carried his son into the OPD. Anyone who sees the little boy will pause to take a second look at him.

Yes, by the look itself, he did not look like any other toddler.

He looked like he is 2 years old, but when I saw his details on the card, he is actually 5. His name is K.

He has the stature of a 2-year-old, with a large, protruding tongue being the most distinct feature, and a blank look.

Dr RB, my consultant paediatrician, exchanged looks with us. We knew, she had the diagnosis in her head. K's parents gave us a detailed history.

K is their 4th child among 4 other healthy children. He seemed alright when he was born but after 2 months, his parents noticed that their son was not taking feeds well. He did not seem to be able to swallow the milk fed to him, and often end up chocked. Along with that, they had noticed his tongue getting bigger, which later protruded out from the mouth. Tooth eruption is also delayed. Till today, he is fed with only semi-solids. 

They were also worried as their son passes motion once in 1-1.5 weeks besides sleeping excessively. Besides, K's milestones are delayed. Since the age of 2, he was only able to walk with support. He coos and smiles when he is happy. 

K's hair was sparse, and his skin was cold and dry. Anterior fontanelle was kinda soft. He has a short neck,  supraclavicular deposition of fat, protruding abdomen, short limbs and stubby fingers. Slow pulse rate was recorded. Sluggishness and decreased muscle tone were also observed. 

Thyroid function test revealed that T4 level was only 0.1 mcg/dL (normal range 4-12) and TSH level which should range between 0.3-3.0 mIU/L was above hundred! So, it is primary hypothyroidism and most likely a congenital one (though mother's antenatal history did not suggest anything).

On the X-ray, epiphysis of long bones were barely visible, most carpal bones were not osssified, suggestive of bone age of 1 year.

K was started on Levothyroxine and was told to come back for monthly follow up.

**********

It is sad to say that K has been brought for treatment pretty late.

His parents are illiterate and live in a village pretty far from a town, explaining their ignorance about the child's special condition and their visits to a so-called local doctor who gave K oral medication to reduce the tongue enlargement. WTH?

However, I noticed something more than their ignorance. K's parents, especially his father, are very concerned and protective over his son. Being poor and uneducated, working as a manual labourer doesn't stop him from giving his unconditional love for his special child. I saw him changing K's diaper one day, and I would say he is definitely gentle and skillful at it. I must have judged him wrongly when he spoke to us a little rudely in Kannada.

K is unique and adorable, not because of his congenital condition, but for who he is. I felt so sorry for him when we had to prick him to collect blood sample. He was apprehensive with strangers around him, but we failed to reassure him probably because he couldn't comprehend. He was scared and cried. His cry was weak and coarse, there were no tears, but it hurts to see the fear and sadness in his eyes. 

K enjoyed banging the railing of the bed against the frame while he was cruising along the bed. He chuckled at the loud sound produced and looked at us, as if he was telling us ''It's fun, you wanna try?'' Even the consultants paused to look and smile at him during the bedside discussion. No one tried to stop him. No one could resist the innocent smile on his face.

I think K does learn things his own way. Someone gave him a phone to play with, he brought it to his ears and started ''talking'' on the phone, smiling all the way. He must have observed the adults doing it. I gave him a keychain with a tiny bear dangling from it and I swing it in front of him. Then he took it from me, swing it also, looked at me and smiled. Later, he went faster and faster, the bear went round and round like riding on a carousel on turbo,  and K got even more happy and excited.

However, K did not like measuring tape. I was trying to take record his anthropometry and he got irritated, pulling the tape away from him. Sorry,boy. 

No matter what, he is still an angel to everyone.
I hope he will improve.

barefoot

A father brought 2 daughters to the Paediatric Department.
One of the girsl was wearing her school uniform which looks like it has not been washed for years. Crumpled, faded, and dirty.Her yonger sister, who is thalassemic, was also wearing a dress in the similar filthy condition.The first thing that came to my mind was, they must be really poor. Sigh.


However, when I spoke to the father, he appeared to be decently dressed from head to toe.
I took a second look at his daughters. It's obvious that their hygiene, cleanliness are simply neglected.


Since the younger child's haemoglobin is only 3.5 gm%, she needed to be admitted for blood transfusion.
As they were leaving the OPD, I noticed both the girls are not having any shoes on!!
My goodness! How can a father let her daughters walk around in this rainy season without any shoes or slippers on when he himself has a comfortable pair of protection??


Selfish parents.

Deliberate Ignorance

Another month of Rural Posting under Department of Community Medicine.
I've chosen Primary Health Centre in Handignur, an agricultural village 20 km away from Belgaum.

After working there for 3 days, I'm not sure whether to be surprised or not, to realise that those who are in charge of seeing the patients are prescribing medicines rather inadvertently.


We had more than 100 patients in the OPD today. 
The pharmacist came to help as well. And she saw patient faster than I did.
I'm not impressed. 
Why? Not because of my language barrier I see patient slower.
Because before the patients could finish telling their complaints, she already threw the medications in front of them with instructions given faster than a bullet train, and called for the next patient.
Any old patients with bodyache, joint pain, Tab. Diclofenac BD.
Anyone with pain abdomen, Tab. Dicyclomine.
One patient had a right sided abdominal pain. Before i could ask more, she threw (YES, she threw) the drugs in front of him and sent him off.
I couldn't even call him back because the whole OPD is congested. Patients kept pouring in. And they don't sit down and wait. They crowd around you!
I couldn't even get up from my seat. They just pushed their way through and pressed their OPD slips right in front of you.


I can totally understand that these villagers are illiterate, uneducated, ignorant, and sometimes stubborn. 
They come demanding for injections for every single complaint, right from fever to flu to bodyache to cuts. 
Most of the times, these injections are not required at all. Instead of explaining to them patiently about their illness, the suitable treatment given and why they do not require injection, those who are working in the OPD just give them an injection, simply a Diclofenac IM, or Cyanocobalamine IM, just to shut them up and send them away.


Yes, i know. They are uneducated. They will never understand. 
They think that injection is the miracle treatment. 
But if no one ever explain to them, sensitize them, remind them, make them understand, obviously they will never know. It is not something which can be achieved in just one day. It is a long process. 
But nobody ever seem to make an attempt. 


Blame it on the montly rotation? 
Interns work for one month and the following month next batch of intern comes. New faces every month. 
Patients try asking for injections again, and also tell you that the previous doctors used to give them injections. 
To save the trouble from spending 10 minutes explaining to them, most people choose to ask them to lie down, expose their butts, load the syringe and poke! Easy! Takes hardly 60 seconds.
Even the Boss adopts this approach. He is the only person who has been permanently working at this place. Patients know him, and they trust him. He says "Give injection", what can you say?


Fine. Injections. With safety precautions, risks of infection can be avoided. The drugs given does less harm than advantage to the patients. They are vitamin deficient anyway. It eases their pain, and also acts as a placebo. I shall say nothing.


What about prescribing antibiotics for only 3 days? Reason being, these people won't bother continuing taking their medications after they get slightly better. So why waste medicine.
So, the instruction given is : NOT MORE THAN 6 TABLETS OR CAPSULES SHOULD BE GIVEN. 
Instead of Amoxicillin 500mg TID for 5 days, BD 3 days is given.


Well, if patient is not compliant, we can't help it. But at least i think we could have tried explaining to them to create the awareness of completing full course antibiotic.
But when the doctor/pharmacist is the one who prescribe an incomplete course, it is a whole different story. We are the one responsible for causing the emerging and worsening of drug resistance.

I really thank my post graduate who have guided me while i was posted in Khasbag Urban Health Centre last month. She is one doctor whom i look up to. She warned me about Antimicrobial Resistance, which is the theme of 2011 World Health Day. She is one doctor that i see talking to the patients very patiently, telling them every detail of their illness in the simplest way they can understand. She never raises her voice at patients. She definitely makes a good Community Medicine doctor. And I think a good doctor should have these basic qualities.


How i wish i could speak the local language better, so that i can speak to them better.
Though i can manage with my broken Kannada and Hindi, majority of the villagers in Handignur speaks Marathi, as it is close to the Maharasthra border. I need to pick up another language in a short time to make myself useful for this one month. Wonder if it is even possible. But I'll try.

A professor of mine once said, "You don't need to be such a hero, to try save the lives of a hundred people and hurry through all of them, but neglected most of them. All you have to do is give your full attention to that one single patient you are attending to at a time, give him the best you can. That is suffiecient."

Negligence

Was posted to Under Five Clinic.
My job is to weigh the kids, measure their heights, plot their growth charts, ask about their diet, schedule them for immunization, ask their parents if their child is ill.
Easy job. Stress free.
Senior doctors are also there, to manage more complicated cases, which is however, hardly any.

The first child of the day came. 14-month-old. I weighed him and checked his records. His weight has been been same in his last 4 visits (months). 9kg.
I thought, something must be wrong with the bathroom weighing scale. I set it to zero and weighed again. Same. I put him on the infant weighing scale instead. It showed 8.5 kg.
Whether is it 8.5 or 9, he is definitely underweight. He should be weighing at least 11 or 12 kg. On top of that, his growth curve on the chart has been plateauing since the past 4 months. This is the earliest sign of malnutrition.
I tried to ask the mother about the childs diet, eating pattern, so that I could advice further. I was attempting with my super broken kannada. She couldn't understand me. I tried my hindi, she knows only kannada.

Feeling useless, I seek help from the community medicine postgraduate, who was posted together with me. He looked at the chart, and said, "It's ok. Nothing serious." And he sent both of them off and continue reading his newspaper.
I told him again, "Sir, his weight has not been increasing for 4 months.".
He got a little irritated, "Ya ya, it's ok."

I could do nothing. I was thinking to myself, 'Are you kidding me? What's the point of running an Under-5 Clinic, if you could detect malnutrition at the earliest but do nothing about it, just because you are to lazy to do the already very easy job.

We know many of them are uneducated, or unaware about their children's growth adequacy, nutrition, hygiene, etc. To prevent severe malnutrition which are not treated in its early stage, we do primary prevention, i.e. Growth monitoring. Even health workers are trained to pick up this skill. It is anyway nothing difficult. This it's the main aim of Under-5 clinic, Anganwadis, to tackle this problem at the so-called 'grassroot level'.

But when a qualified doctor, a soon-to-be community medicine specialist, who is sitting in a tertiary hospital, does not bother about spending a little extra time and effort to look into one child's nourishment, do you think others, especially those posted to the rural areas, won't have such similar attitude.

I feel bad for the parents who are willing to bring their children, monthly, for growth monitoring, but not only they are not told about the problem they will be facing, the doctors in whom they trust don't give a damn about them.

How do they expect improvements in healthcare when the attitude of the healthcare provider is so disappointing?

PINK150

Bought my pink umbrella! It was tagged as rs249..
I didn't notice the '40% off' signboard...
When I went to the cashier, it showed rs150 on the teller...
Wow... I was extremely happy... first of all, I'm happy enough to find a pink umbrella, that too a soft pink and not electric pink... and to pay only rs150 for such a good quality umbrella with uv coating, it is definitely the best deal !!
I shall call it 'PINK150'...
PINK150, you made my day!

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Dear Japan, hang in there!

The day after tsunami hit Japan, I was having breakfast in Eefa. Sitting at the table next to us were a man in his sixties and two other women. I did not pay much attention to them.

While they were leaving the man approached us and said something which I couldn't hear properly. The first thing that came to my mind was, this man must be asking if we are from Thailand or Korea and what are we doing in Belgaum. (Incidence like this happens frequently ever since I set foot in India 4.5years back. It irritates me.)

So, I gave him this blank stare, which I myself know very well that it's rude.
After a few seconds I realized that he was asking if we are Japanese, how are our relatives back home, and if they are badly affected.
I was shocked. This old man actually cares and concerns about the Japanese after learning about the mishap from the news. We told him we are Malaysians. And he expressed his sympathy for the tsunami victims.

I felt bad. I'm sorry to judge him.

For the first time, I felt love and kindness, in India. Especially when everyone is busy celebrating the World Kannada Formation Day, flooding the town just to see Aishwarya Rai, blasting music at wee hours; when many who are involved in the medical field shows no empathy to patients but thinks only for themselves, blinded by success and luxury, when nobody gives a damn about others unless they need help, a thought like this really made me feel warmth.

I really wanted to thank him on behalf of the Japanese.

Even when the majority do not seem to care, a single soul who shows his concern and support is worth more than anything.

For those who are struggling to survive, or those who are overcoming the grief of losing their loved ones and their homes, stay strong! Ganbatte!

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first post for 2009

happy 2009...
i know im a little late...
hahaha...

eggie has been complaining that im not udpating my blog...perhaps u miss me really much right eggie...

m supposed to continue my post bout mungod...

but doesnt matter..this is a special post by request from eggie...

thanks for the phone call from indonesia... i got so excited lah... i know phone was lagging but i cant help shouting...haha...sorry... haha... feel so warm to hear ur voices...good old terrence sounded the same...haha...

my last theory paper was alright... i think im lucky enough coz things that i din have to revise were not asked.. .hehehehe...

din really celebrate my birthday... frens came to my room at 9:30pm 15/2 (malaysian time 16/2 00:00) with cakes n sing song...blow candles...the usual custom that we do here...just casually had dinner with few friends... nth much to do here in belgaum also... but it was just a simple birthday... which is exactly what i want... n im satisfied :)

but the only thing tat doesnt quite make me happy is... i've aged... i'm getting older... 22 seems like a big number... hehehehe...

alright eggie i'l post after my exams lah k... be patient...

tara~!

The Hidden Heaven of the Tibetans - Mundgod

Mundgod, also known as Mini Tibet, is located at the suburbs of Karnataka, with the most number of Tibetans out of all the Tibetan settlement all over the world. Looking at the outstretched lush greeneries on both the sides of the highway, one will not expect a small town to be hidden amongst the greens. There lives the Tibetans for the past 40 years in Doeguling Tibetan Refugee Settlement.

I have been wanting to go to Mundgod since last year when I found out about this place from a mandarin speaking Tibetan monk who got admitted in the Surgery Ward. Finally, we made a trip there yesterday. 9 of us. It took 2 and a half hours to reach.

We first visited the newly built Drepung Loseling Monastery, which was inaugurated by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in January this year. My Tibetan friend invited me to attend the inauguration but too bad i went back to Malaysia. The monastery simply looks majestic, with red pillars and a very large shrine hall. There are statues of different god and goddess in the shrine hall, with Lord Buddha sitting in the middle. We offered white robes (Khata offering). The robe is then placed in front of a cardboard model of Dalai Lama on his throne. (I'm not sure if we are offering it to him or to Lord Buddha. But I guess as long as there's sincerity in the heart, what makes the difference?)

We then went for lunch in Lama Society Restaurant. They served Indian food. Was expecting Tibetan food, but my senior who came for the 4th time said they serve beef and we all don't eat beef. And so happen that the veg dumpling stall is closed. As all of us were hungry, we didn't really mind it. Everyone got excited to see chopsticks on the table. I guess, eventhough some of us don't know how to hold chopsticks properly, but seeing something like this just make us feel at home. And the menu is written in Tibetan Language. Cool huh...

There, we met a very helpful lama who could speak fluent mandarin. He came from Sichuan and has been here for almost a decade. He helped us order food and my senior started chatting with him. I was interested in their conversation, but I'm not sure if i could join them as I presume Tibetans are conservative and the females shouldn't talk too much. So i could only eavesdrop. Thanks to my senior for being extremely sociable and managed to make friend with anyone in just 1 minute. It turned out that this lama became our tour guide, showed us 2 very important places, where a normal tourist wouldn't have a chance to visit.

After lunch we headed to Gaden Jangtse Theosam Norling Monastery. The sky looked extremely beautiful. The shrine hall and the statues looked almost similar to the previous monastery. Later I realized that in fact they are all similar. All monasteries have the symbolic thing on the roof -- 2 deers (i think) and a wheel. (I haven't had time to find out about this, sorry if i give wrong info)

The lama then took us to a house, which was where an old lama used to stay previously. This house is now frequent by many pilgrims. Why so? It is said that this lama is clinically declared dead but his mind is still in a meditative state. The surprising thing is there is no sign of decomposition until his meditative state has ceased, which was 3 weeks later. Samadhi is the word they used to describe it. They have now put him in a big wooden squarish box which i assume he is in a sitting position inside.We paid tribute to him and sat down in the house to listen to another English speaking lama tell us more about this lama and Mundgod. Didn't snap any pics here. I don't think we should.

Our 'tour guide' lama was still with us. My senior was again talking to him. I sat beside him to listen to what he says. He kept saying that his mandarin isn't so good. But i personally thinks that his mandarin is good. Good enough to convey his thoughts. It was just a casual talk but I gained a lot from it. And I would say it was my most pleasurable moment in this trip.Will write about it more in my next post.

The last destination is Drepung Gomang Monastic University. There is also a big shrine hall, basically it is also like all other monastery. On the top floor is H.H. Dalai Lama's room and his conference room. We managed to enter and look around. Thanks to our 'tour guide' lama. We were told that there is a room for him in every monastery. For him to stay whenever he comes. (But so far, he has only been to Mundgod twice. Once in 1995 and once in 2008.)
This trip wasn't anything exciting or adventurous. It was simply pleasant. Just pleasant. Being there makes you feel calm, no burden, no troubles. The streets are not busy,no litter, no paan, no spitted sputum lying aroun like what we get in Belgaum. There are not many vehicles. You will only see many monks dressed in their traditional maroon-coloured robes on the streets, whether young or old. Perhaps another factor is the faces. Majority are tibetans. We all look-alike. So we don't feel like we are in a foreign place at all.

I'll definitely go back again. I will.

Hari Raya Open House - part 2

shabbi, priyanka and me

prisy and priyanka

abhishek bachan lookalike and me

my batchmates

all the guests

my chinese juniors

some of the many girls

Hari Raya Open House

the best dress for male is won my avinash nair

this is us with the female best dressed- datin prisaana ramakrishnan

girls

me

The Making of 'Erin and her Cheongsam'

The hari raya open house is today.
On the invitation card, one of the events scheduled was ‘Best Dress’.
I guess everyone is attracted to this, especially the girls. Or should I say only the girls.
All planning of what traditional dress to wear, cracking their head, went shopping for material, hunting for tailors who are willing to make baju kebaya or baju kurung.

As for me, hmmm…
I’m not sure if I’m excited over the ‘Best Dress’ thing…i guess not... but I simply got excited, simply want to join the fun and dress up a little. Wanted to wear kebaya, but I left my saree material back home, so I din want to get another new material. Didn’t have baju kurung also.
So, my final decision is…. ‘Cheongsam’!

This is kind of a big thing for me…because I have to go on diet, in order to... errr... look better in the cheongsam…
(Must portray the beauty and elegance of this traditional dress of the Chinese culture maa… cannot bring disgrace to the ancient Chinese culture)
So, basically…all I need to do is to make sure that there’s no excessive unnecessary adipose spare tyre…But I only have 1 week’s time…Gosh!

I don’t remember when i started it. I didn’t really plan it out. And I know the way I ‘diet’ is really unhealthy.
I skip meals, but I still eat breakfast. (It’s a must) I eat lesser, I don’t go for non-veg, except for my lung-fung soup. I drink glucose to give me energy, not always though. (Not sure if that really helps.) No time for more exercise, so I force myself to do sit up. First day, 100 times… till my abdominal muscles ache, next day have to cut down…but still do about 20-30 times… and that goes on for the rest of they day.

But I didn’t diet till pengsan loh…thank god... still fit and energetic and conscious.
Had 1 episode of hyperacidity. I could feel some burning sensation in the stomach and oesophagus. Relfux? GERD? Immediately ran to café and ate something right after class. Damn scared. Sometimes experience postural giddiness/ hypotension. And that’s when I know I shouldn’t go on like this anymore.

Meanwhile, my evil friends sabotage my plan… keep tempting me with food… ask me to go dinner with them and make me be their DBKL like how I always do. Looking at the food, being their so-called growing child who requires adequate nutrition, always eating double the portion of what a guy eats.. haih… I gave in lah… but not during yesterday’s dinner! I can’t let my effort all this while go down the drain. I have to disclose something private and confidential here. My stomach has quite a big capacity. And each time after eating a proper meal, it will enlarge to the size of gravid ‘tummy’, like a pregnant woman, with a fundal height of 36 weeks. I’m not kidding!

Once in a while, I was thinking that should I just give up and wear a baju kurung, so that I can continue stuffing myself with the many many delicious foods that they are serving during the open house. In the end I thought I will stick to my plan, which will only end after this whole thing finishes. Meaning, I won’t be able to eat much later coz I can’t let my tummy bulge out and my cheongsam tear. (like those heroes in the cartoon, when they need to fight, the muscles will undergo hypertrophy in just one second and the clothes will be torn into pieces.)

Well well… I’m gonna get ready for the open house now. Of course, don’t expect an adipose-less hour glass figure. At least I manage to get rid of those spare tyre. This is for plain self satisfaction. And I’m not going to do it ever again in my entire life (maybe for my wedding I will, if I manage to.) It’s TORTURE for me, a pertumbuhan terbantut growing child not being able to eat u know…

Stay tuned…

重新上路！！

每个人 都有脑袋。
每个人 都会思考。
但为何我的脑袋比任何人的思考那么多？
惹来一大堆的烦恼。
哎~ 可笑吧？

没关系，反正现在把心情整理好咯！
超开心的！
不再想那么多了！

或许也因为有人给了定心丸，
现在
信心十足、精神饱满的我，
要上路咯！