Deliberate Ignorance

Another month of Rural Posting under Department of Community Medicine.
I've chosen Primary Health Centre in Handignur, an agricultural village 20 km away from Belgaum.

After working there for 3 days, I'm not sure whether to be surprised or not, to realise that those who are in charge of seeing the patients are prescribing medicines rather inadvertently.


We had more than 100 patients in the OPD today. 
The pharmacist came to help as well. And she saw patient faster than I did.
I'm not impressed. 
Why? Not because of my language barrier I see patient slower.
Because before the patients could finish telling their complaints, she already threw the medications in front of them with instructions given faster than a bullet train, and called for the next patient.
Any old patients with bodyache, joint pain, Tab. Diclofenac BD.
Anyone with pain abdomen, Tab. Dicyclomine.
One patient had a right sided abdominal pain. Before i could ask more, she threw (YES, she threw) the drugs in front of him and sent him off.
I couldn't even call him back because the whole OPD is congested. Patients kept pouring in. And they don't sit down and wait. They crowd around you!
I couldn't even get up from my seat. They just pushed their way through and pressed their OPD slips right in front of you.


I can totally understand that these villagers are illiterate, uneducated, ignorant, and sometimes stubborn. 
They come demanding for injections for every single complaint, right from fever to flu to bodyache to cuts. 
Most of the times, these injections are not required at all. Instead of explaining to them patiently about their illness, the suitable treatment given and why they do not require injection, those who are working in the OPD just give them an injection, simply a Diclofenac IM, or Cyanocobalamine IM, just to shut them up and send them away.


Yes, i know. They are uneducated. They will never understand. 
They think that injection is the miracle treatment. 
But if no one ever explain to them, sensitize them, remind them, make them understand, obviously they will never know. It is not something which can be achieved in just one day. It is a long process. 
But nobody ever seem to make an attempt. 


Blame it on the montly rotation? 
Interns work for one month and the following month next batch of intern comes. New faces every month. 
Patients try asking for injections again, and also tell you that the previous doctors used to give them injections. 
To save the trouble from spending 10 minutes explaining to them, most people choose to ask them to lie down, expose their butts, load the syringe and poke! Easy! Takes hardly 60 seconds.
Even the Boss adopts this approach. He is the only person who has been permanently working at this place. Patients know him, and they trust him. He says "Give injection", what can you say?


Fine. Injections. With safety precautions, risks of infection can be avoided. The drugs given does less harm than advantage to the patients. They are vitamin deficient anyway. It eases their pain, and also acts as a placebo. I shall say nothing.


What about prescribing antibiotics for only 3 days? Reason being, these people won't bother continuing taking their medications after they get slightly better. So why waste medicine.
So, the instruction given is : NOT MORE THAN 6 TABLETS OR CAPSULES SHOULD BE GIVEN. 
Instead of Amoxicillin 500mg TID for 5 days, BD 3 days is given.


Well, if patient is not compliant, we can't help it. But at least i think we could have tried explaining to them to create the awareness of completing full course antibiotic.
But when the doctor/pharmacist is the one who prescribe an incomplete course, it is a whole different story. We are the one responsible for causing the emerging and worsening of drug resistance.

I really thank my post graduate who have guided me while i was posted in Khasbag Urban Health Centre last month. She is one doctor whom i look up to. She warned me about Antimicrobial Resistance, which is the theme of 2011 World Health Day. She is one doctor that i see talking to the patients very patiently, telling them every detail of their illness in the simplest way they can understand. She never raises her voice at patients. She definitely makes a good Community Medicine doctor. And I think a good doctor should have these basic qualities.


How i wish i could speak the local language better, so that i can speak to them better.
Though i can manage with my broken Kannada and Hindi, majority of the villagers in Handignur speaks Marathi, as it is close to the Maharasthra border. I need to pick up another language in a short time to make myself useful for this one month. Wonder if it is even possible. But I'll try.

A professor of mine once said, "You don't need to be such a hero, to try save the lives of a hundred people and hurry through all of them, but neglected most of them. All you have to do is give your full attention to that one single patient you are attending to at a time, give him the best you can. That is suffiecient."

Negligence

Was posted to Under Five Clinic.
My job is to weigh the kids, measure their heights, plot their growth charts, ask about their diet, schedule them for immunization, ask their parents if their child is ill.
Easy job. Stress free.
Senior doctors are also there, to manage more complicated cases, which is however, hardly any.

The first child of the day came. 14-month-old. I weighed him and checked his records. His weight has been been same in his last 4 visits (months). 9kg.
I thought, something must be wrong with the bathroom weighing scale. I set it to zero and weighed again. Same. I put him on the infant weighing scale instead. It showed 8.5 kg.
Whether is it 8.5 or 9, he is definitely underweight. He should be weighing at least 11 or 12 kg. On top of that, his growth curve on the chart has been plateauing since the past 4 months. This is the earliest sign of malnutrition.
I tried to ask the mother about the childs diet, eating pattern, so that I could advice further. I was attempting with my super broken kannada. She couldn't understand me. I tried my hindi, she knows only kannada.

Feeling useless, I seek help from the community medicine postgraduate, who was posted together with me. He looked at the chart, and said, "It's ok. Nothing serious." And he sent both of them off and continue reading his newspaper.
I told him again, "Sir, his weight has not been increasing for 4 months.".
He got a little irritated, "Ya ya, it's ok."

I could do nothing. I was thinking to myself, 'Are you kidding me? What's the point of running an Under-5 Clinic, if you could detect malnutrition at the earliest but do nothing about it, just because you are to lazy to do the already very easy job.

We know many of them are uneducated, or unaware about their children's growth adequacy, nutrition, hygiene, etc. To prevent severe malnutrition which are not treated in its early stage, we do primary prevention, i.e. Growth monitoring. Even health workers are trained to pick up this skill. It is anyway nothing difficult. This it's the main aim of Under-5 clinic, Anganwadis, to tackle this problem at the so-called 'grassroot level'.

But when a qualified doctor, a soon-to-be community medicine specialist, who is sitting in a tertiary hospital, does not bother about spending a little extra time and effort to look into one child's nourishment, do you think others, especially those posted to the rural areas, won't have such similar attitude.

I feel bad for the parents who are willing to bring their children, monthly, for growth monitoring, but not only they are not told about the problem they will be facing, the doctors in whom they trust don't give a damn about them.

How do they expect improvements in healthcare when the attitude of the healthcare provider is so disappointing?

PINK150

Bought my pink umbrella! It was tagged as rs249..
I didn't notice the '40% off' signboard...
When I went to the cashier, it showed rs150 on the teller...
Wow... I was extremely happy... first of all, I'm happy enough to find a pink umbrella, that too a soft pink and not electric pink... and to pay only rs150 for such a good quality umbrella with uv coating, it is definitely the best deal !!
I shall call it 'PINK150'...
PINK150, you made my day!

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Dear Japan, hang in there!

The day after tsunami hit Japan, I was having breakfast in Eefa. Sitting at the table next to us were a man in his sixties and two other women. I did not pay much attention to them.

While they were leaving the man approached us and said something which I couldn't hear properly. The first thing that came to my mind was, this man must be asking if we are from Thailand or Korea and what are we doing in Belgaum. (Incidence like this happens frequently ever since I set foot in India 4.5years back. It irritates me.)

So, I gave him this blank stare, which I myself know very well that it's rude.
After a few seconds I realized that he was asking if we are Japanese, how are our relatives back home, and if they are badly affected.
I was shocked. This old man actually cares and concerns about the Japanese after learning about the mishap from the news. We told him we are Malaysians. And he expressed his sympathy for the tsunami victims.

I felt bad. I'm sorry to judge him.

For the first time, I felt love and kindness, in India. Especially when everyone is busy celebrating the World Kannada Formation Day, flooding the town just to see Aishwarya Rai, blasting music at wee hours; when many who are involved in the medical field shows no empathy to patients but thinks only for themselves, blinded by success and luxury, when nobody gives a damn about others unless they need help, a thought like this really made me feel warmth.

I really wanted to thank him on behalf of the Japanese.

Even when the majority do not seem to care, a single soul who shows his concern and support is worth more than anything.

For those who are struggling to survive, or those who are overcoming the grief of losing their loved ones and their homes, stay strong! Ganbatte!

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first post for 2009

happy 2009...
i know im a little late...
hahaha...

eggie has been complaining that im not udpating my blog...perhaps u miss me really much right eggie...

m supposed to continue my post bout mungod...

but doesnt matter..this is a special post by request from eggie...

thanks for the phone call from indonesia... i got so excited lah... i know phone was lagging but i cant help shouting...haha...sorry... haha... feel so warm to hear ur voices...good old terrence sounded the same...haha...

my last theory paper was alright... i think im lucky enough coz things that i din have to revise were not asked.. .hehehehe...

din really celebrate my birthday... frens came to my room at 9:30pm 15/2 (malaysian time 16/2 00:00) with cakes n sing song...blow candles...the usual custom that we do here...just casually had dinner with few friends... nth much to do here in belgaum also... but it was just a simple birthday... which is exactly what i want... n im satisfied :)

but the only thing tat doesnt quite make me happy is... i've aged... i'm getting older... 22 seems like a big number... hehehehe...

alright eggie i'l post after my exams lah k... be patient...

tara~!

The Hidden Heaven of the Tibetans - Mundgod

Mundgod, also known as Mini Tibet, is located at the suburbs of Karnataka, with the most number of Tibetans out of all the Tibetan settlement all over the world. Looking at the outstretched lush greeneries on both the sides of the highway, one will not expect a small town to be hidden amongst the greens. There lives the Tibetans for the past 40 years in Doeguling Tibetan Refugee Settlement.

I have been wanting to go to Mundgod since last year when I found out about this place from a mandarin speaking Tibetan monk who got admitted in the Surgery Ward. Finally, we made a trip there yesterday. 9 of us. It took 2 and a half hours to reach.

We first visited the newly built Drepung Loseling Monastery, which was inaugurated by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in January this year. My Tibetan friend invited me to attend the inauguration but too bad i went back to Malaysia. The monastery simply looks majestic, with red pillars and a very large shrine hall. There are statues of different god and goddess in the shrine hall, with Lord Buddha sitting in the middle. We offered white robes (Khata offering). The robe is then placed in front of a cardboard model of Dalai Lama on his throne. (I'm not sure if we are offering it to him or to Lord Buddha. But I guess as long as there's sincerity in the heart, what makes the difference?)

We then went for lunch in Lama Society Restaurant. They served Indian food. Was expecting Tibetan food, but my senior who came for the 4th time said they serve beef and we all don't eat beef. And so happen that the veg dumpling stall is closed. As all of us were hungry, we didn't really mind it. Everyone got excited to see chopsticks on the table. I guess, eventhough some of us don't know how to hold chopsticks properly, but seeing something like this just make us feel at home. And the menu is written in Tibetan Language. Cool huh...

There, we met a very helpful lama who could speak fluent mandarin. He came from Sichuan and has been here for almost a decade. He helped us order food and my senior started chatting with him. I was interested in their conversation, but I'm not sure if i could join them as I presume Tibetans are conservative and the females shouldn't talk too much. So i could only eavesdrop. Thanks to my senior for being extremely sociable and managed to make friend with anyone in just 1 minute. It turned out that this lama became our tour guide, showed us 2 very important places, where a normal tourist wouldn't have a chance to visit.

After lunch we headed to Gaden Jangtse Theosam Norling Monastery. The sky looked extremely beautiful. The shrine hall and the statues looked almost similar to the previous monastery. Later I realized that in fact they are all similar. All monasteries have the symbolic thing on the roof -- 2 deers (i think) and a wheel. (I haven't had time to find out about this, sorry if i give wrong info)

The lama then took us to a house, which was where an old lama used to stay previously. This house is now frequent by many pilgrims. Why so? It is said that this lama is clinically declared dead but his mind is still in a meditative state. The surprising thing is there is no sign of decomposition until his meditative state has ceased, which was 3 weeks later. Samadhi is the word they used to describe it. They have now put him in a big wooden squarish box which i assume he is in a sitting position inside.We paid tribute to him and sat down in the house to listen to another English speaking lama tell us more about this lama and Mundgod. Didn't snap any pics here. I don't think we should.

Our 'tour guide' lama was still with us. My senior was again talking to him. I sat beside him to listen to what he says. He kept saying that his mandarin isn't so good. But i personally thinks that his mandarin is good. Good enough to convey his thoughts. It was just a casual talk but I gained a lot from it. And I would say it was my most pleasurable moment in this trip.Will write about it more in my next post.

The last destination is Drepung Gomang Monastic University. There is also a big shrine hall, basically it is also like all other monastery. On the top floor is H.H. Dalai Lama's room and his conference room. We managed to enter and look around. Thanks to our 'tour guide' lama. We were told that there is a room for him in every monastery. For him to stay whenever he comes. (But so far, he has only been to Mundgod twice. Once in 1995 and once in 2008.)
This trip wasn't anything exciting or adventurous. It was simply pleasant. Just pleasant. Being there makes you feel calm, no burden, no troubles. The streets are not busy,no litter, no paan, no spitted sputum lying aroun like what we get in Belgaum. There are not many vehicles. You will only see many monks dressed in their traditional maroon-coloured robes on the streets, whether young or old. Perhaps another factor is the faces. Majority are tibetans. We all look-alike. So we don't feel like we are in a foreign place at all.

I'll definitely go back again. I will.

Hari Raya Open House - part 2

shabbi, priyanka and me

prisy and priyanka

abhishek bachan lookalike and me

my batchmates

all the guests

my chinese juniors

some of the many girls

Hari Raya Open House

the best dress for male is won my avinash nair

this is us with the female best dressed- datin prisaana ramakrishnan

girls

me

The Making of 'Erin and her Cheongsam'

The hari raya open house is today.
On the invitation card, one of the events scheduled was ‘Best Dress’.
I guess everyone is attracted to this, especially the girls. Or should I say only the girls.
All planning of what traditional dress to wear, cracking their head, went shopping for material, hunting for tailors who are willing to make baju kebaya or baju kurung.

As for me, hmmm…
I’m not sure if I’m excited over the ‘Best Dress’ thing…i guess not... but I simply got excited, simply want to join the fun and dress up a little. Wanted to wear kebaya, but I left my saree material back home, so I din want to get another new material. Didn’t have baju kurung also.
So, my final decision is…. ‘Cheongsam’!

This is kind of a big thing for me…because I have to go on diet, in order to... errr... look better in the cheongsam…
(Must portray the beauty and elegance of this traditional dress of the Chinese culture maa… cannot bring disgrace to the ancient Chinese culture)
So, basically…all I need to do is to make sure that there’s no excessive unnecessary adipose spare tyre…But I only have 1 week’s time…Gosh!

I don’t remember when i started it. I didn’t really plan it out. And I know the way I ‘diet’ is really unhealthy.
I skip meals, but I still eat breakfast. (It’s a must) I eat lesser, I don’t go for non-veg, except for my lung-fung soup. I drink glucose to give me energy, not always though. (Not sure if that really helps.) No time for more exercise, so I force myself to do sit up. First day, 100 times… till my abdominal muscles ache, next day have to cut down…but still do about 20-30 times… and that goes on for the rest of they day.

But I didn’t diet till pengsan loh…thank god... still fit and energetic and conscious.
Had 1 episode of hyperacidity. I could feel some burning sensation in the stomach and oesophagus. Relfux? GERD? Immediately ran to café and ate something right after class. Damn scared. Sometimes experience postural giddiness/ hypotension. And that’s when I know I shouldn’t go on like this anymore.

Meanwhile, my evil friends sabotage my plan… keep tempting me with food… ask me to go dinner with them and make me be their DBKL like how I always do. Looking at the food, being their so-called growing child who requires adequate nutrition, always eating double the portion of what a guy eats.. haih… I gave in lah… but not during yesterday’s dinner! I can’t let my effort all this while go down the drain. I have to disclose something private and confidential here. My stomach has quite a big capacity. And each time after eating a proper meal, it will enlarge to the size of gravid ‘tummy’, like a pregnant woman, with a fundal height of 36 weeks. I’m not kidding!

Once in a while, I was thinking that should I just give up and wear a baju kurung, so that I can continue stuffing myself with the many many delicious foods that they are serving during the open house. In the end I thought I will stick to my plan, which will only end after this whole thing finishes. Meaning, I won’t be able to eat much later coz I can’t let my tummy bulge out and my cheongsam tear. (like those heroes in the cartoon, when they need to fight, the muscles will undergo hypertrophy in just one second and the clothes will be torn into pieces.)

Well well… I’m gonna get ready for the open house now. Of course, don’t expect an adipose-less hour glass figure. At least I manage to get rid of those spare tyre. This is for plain self satisfaction. And I’m not going to do it ever again in my entire life (maybe for my wedding I will, if I manage to.) It’s TORTURE for me, a pertumbuhan terbantut growing child not being able to eat u know…

Stay tuned…

重新上路！！

每个人 都有脑袋。
每个人 都会思考。
但为何我的脑袋比任何人的思考那么多？
惹来一大堆的烦恼。
哎~ 可笑吧？

没关系，反正现在把心情整理好咯！
超开心的！
不再想那么多了！

或许也因为有人给了定心丸，
现在
信心十足、精神饱满的我，
要上路咯！

moon no cake

It’s mooncake festival tomorrow…
No special plans, its just another Sunday for me…
I don’t mind at all…
But I have no mooncakes to eat…

This is the third time I’m not celebrating mooncake festival in Malaysia…
But this is the first time I have no mooncakes to eat… (sob)

I still remember, during the first mooncake festival I celebrated in India 2 years back, I called up all my ah gong ah ma uncle aunty to wish them.

Everyone might be thinking that it was just another mooncake festival, no big deal, but for me, and for the first time, I was counting down the days and was listing down the ppl whom I wanna call.

It was a big thing for me… it was a bigger thing when I started crying when my ah ma ask me if I was taking good care of myself.

My friends and I manage to bring some mooncakes before we left Malaysia. Everyone shared the small pieces of mooncake cut into eight or even more smaller pieces..haha..

But it was sufficient... we even drank chinese tea (brought from home)…

It brought lanterns also…lit them up last year…but this year a bit lazy… all I want is MOONCAKE…!!!!

im a ''proud'' malaysian

microbiology viva...

"good morning ma'am."

"good morning...where are u from?"

"ma'am, malaysia."

"originally from malaysia?"

"err no ma'am...my ancestors are from china..."

"ok...so tell me about the infectious diseases which are seen in malaysia.."

"..... errrr ..... ermmm.... tuberculosis?! err...not so common...but in rural places... (crap crap crap)"

"OK so tell be about tuberculosis!"


aaaahhhh!!!! so dead..
ok i know about tuberculosis...
but i dunno my country!!
n i have to serve my country in the future...
yeah i know this is bad....
i did think about knowing the epidemiological diseases in malaysia.... t
hought of finding out n read more after my exams...
but i didnt expect her to ask about it in my viva lah....
hope she doesnt know i gave the wrong answer lah...
but she's one smart associate professor...hmmm... is it possible that she doesnt know?
arghhh...
shame!! shame!!!

=(

nice uncle

was rushing through my forensic medicine notes when my study table light started blinking...then it got back to normal...n blinked again after a long time..

i thought something was wrong with the electricity...not bothered..

when i came back to the room after my exam, my study table was like disco lah..the light was blinking non stop...hahaha..

it was past 5pm..went to search for the hostel electrician but he was no where to be seen..nevermind lah..
one more subject to go, i had to sit on my bed to study to get proper lighting...cant be studying in dark as my eyesights are almost gone..

after my last paper today...came back...hunt for the electrician...
then he came...standing at the door smiling...hehe...
he told me to write a letter of application (leceh procedure... to fix the light also must write love letter to the warden)..then he started checking..then replaced with a new tube or starter...(forgot to ask him wut was wrong)...

then he was searching for the transparent shield that covers the light..hehe..i took it out long time ago n was on top of the cupboard...filled with dust...paiseh lah..told him i'l fix it myself coz its dirty...

uncle so nice la..he say come come i wash for u... aaah? no need gua..u good enough to come fix the light d...
so he went to wash in the kitchen..wash with soap n scrub sumore lah... took longer than my dish-washing time...
then he dry it...then he fixed it...

then i saw screwdriver sticking out from his pocket..wanted to borrow to fix 2 screws jutting out from my rack... he asked me wut i want to do with it..i show him the screws..and he fix them for me also lah..!!!

because of communication problem..all i could say was..thank u bhaia...thank u..hehehe..thank u...
he also kept saying welcome madam...welcome...hehe..

oh..n i remembered..he fixed my bicycle reflector long time ago...i only asked him if he has the 'nut' to replace the missing one.. n he fixed the whole thing for me..hahaha..

nice uncle...simple humble helpful polite responsible efficient..
the maids in the hostel should learn from him, rather than sitting n chit chatting whole day..
or maybe... everyone should be like him...hehe..
i also muz learn from him n not always be a fighter cock...despite having language problem here...muahahaha!!!!

what should i say?

it was Saturday afternoon. longing for this last class to get over by 4pm.
using the antique over head projector, Madam was changing the yellowish transparency one after another, explaining meanwhile.
students were copying down the notes, or reading other stuff under the table, or dozing off with eyes wide open, or playing games with their mobile phones.

suddenly...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? SLEEPING? GET UP!! YOU !! YES YOU!! SLEEPING?? GO OUT!!"

blur-looking boy got up...mumbled something like "no ma'am i wasnt"..

"birthday boy!! ~haaappy birthdaaay to yooouuuu~..hahahahaaaaa..."

"WHAT? *BUTTER*DAY? I DONT CARE..I KNOW YOU ARE SLEEPING. GET OUT!! AND YOU! YES THE ONE BEHIND! YOU ARE ALSO SLEEPING? GET OUT!!"

"no ma'am...i wasnt sleeping.."

"GET OUT!!"

"no ma'am...(explanation and explanation)"

"GET OUT!!"

"oh no birthday boy...~~happy birthday to you~~waaakaaakaaaa....muuaaahhaaaahaaaa... "

*Killer Stare ALERT!!* Madam switched off the OHP, grabbed her transparencies and stomped off. upon reaching the door, she turned. *Higher Voltage Stare ALERT*

"ALL OF YOU WILL BE MARKED ABSENT FOR 2 CLASSES!!"

class shouted : "NO MA'AM..PLS MA'AM...SORRY MA'AM....hahahahahahaha"

immediately the lecture hall turned into a fish market...guys cheering for their victory upon defeating their target...girls complaining about their innocence and for losing their attendance..

someone came trotting down the hall towards the door...it was the class representative...

class remained a fish market...

10 minutes later, class rep came back and told everyone off, giving warning to those who created the havoc.

So, class ended early. indeed.
everyone happy?

me? hahaha..whatever...
i hurried back to hostel before it started pouring...

不能输给压力！

考试要到了，许多人都开始紧张了。
也许我不想承认，不过我好像也是啦。
我知道这样很不好，
所以拼命提醒自己要平静心情。
还得一直鼓励自己，给自己很多很多的力量！

最近怎么搞的？
想煮粥就会放太少水，结果煮成饭。
不管了，饿了就吞。
想煮饭，也会变成粥。
有得吃就吃，没时间埋怨。

最近，身边的人的怪脾气，
都因为考试压力的缘故，
一一显露出来了。
我希望我不是这样，
也希望他们不要这样。
要天天对自己微笑，
保持好心情！

加油加油！！

小鸟之去匆匆

“那天晚上救了一只出世不久的 小鸟。
可它今天死了，好难过，有感情了。”

短短的一封“越洋”简讯，
平凡的一件小事，
却让我停下手上的工作，
不自觉地沉思在回忆里。

发简讯的你，是否也和我一样想着同样一件事。
我能了解你的难过。
我想，你也是想起在天国的那小生命。

世间万事难料。
许多东西，往往是在与它插身而过时，
才特别地对它不舍。
生命更亦如此。
越小的生命，越是脆弱，
越是令人替他惋惜。

别再难过，别再为过去难过。
为离开的，
以一声“阿弥陀佛”，
护送他们到西方去。

珍惜拥有，
期待明天的另一个美好。

凌晨三点钟

已是凌晨两点半了，我的眼睛还睁得大大的，一点睡意都没有。
并不是在读书，而是从刚才十点多就在网上流浪到现在。

原本是想找那人聊聊天，偏偏远方的他却不出现。
结果最终沉迷于我的新嗜好--读部落格。
从几何时，我染上了这习惯，甚至一度上瘾了。

最近好像没把情绪控制好。对朋友们都没问题，反而是对自己和家人耍脾气。
也不晓得为什么。又或许是任性，就算知道为何却不愿意承认。
还蛮爱往牛角尖转。明知道转错地方了，还执迷不悟，转到最后卡住了，爬不出来。

不过现在还好啦！
想一想，都这么大个人了，就不要那么孩子脾气。
就算很久没有好好松懈、好好撒个娇、也没必要把自己搞到这样，蓝蓝的。

其实，会这样子或许也是自己一厢情愿地认为这次假期过得不太好。
没能去旅行，唱唱歌，透透气，充充电。
其实，这应该都是自己心里作怪吧！
怎么可以有贪念呢？
人总是因为贪而带来不必要的烦恼。
这次，我也不例外。

好吧！坚持多一点，在吃多点苦，没关系！
将来一定有一天，会有机会去玩的！
（但是不可订时间日起，否则会大失所望的咯！）

大学不放我假也没关系！
自己应该学习在适当的时候放松自己。
保持身心平衡，平静心情，同时努力王目标迈进。

哇！！　说是很容易啦！！
我可需要好多好多好多的力量！！
也许这条路并不太辛苦，也许不是我一个人在走，
而是我的自我让我忽略了沿途陪着我的家人与朋友。
真的很抱歉，也很感激。

明天星期六，还得去医院及上课。
明天会是忙碌的一天。
应该也是美好的新的一天。
把乱七八糟的心情打扫了一下，
没有借口可让自己偷懒咯！

凌晨三点钟，
是时候告辞了！

Laugh Out Loud

Question : those who has watched Kungfu Panda, please grade how funny it is (from level 0-5)

well, so far from what ppl told me, it is DAMN FUNNY...OH MY GOD...SOOOO FFFUUNNNNYY!!!

i dunno how to grade, but if i were to grade how much i laughed while watching the cartoon, i say...level 1?
i really dunno... is my threshold of laughing so high?
why is it so hard for me to find things funny? so difficult for me to laugh out loud? with tears trickling down and get cramp in the stomach and roll on the floor?
when was the last time this happens to me?

once, i watched 'contract lover' with a fren. throughout the movie he was just laughing and laughing and laughing non stop...and i was just 'hehe' and 'hehe'...i do agree there are funny scenes...but why cant i laugh loud loud? threshold too high? need a stronger stimulus?

laughing boosts our immunity... and its a simple way to make ourselves healthier... i know i smile...im seldom unhappy...i know i just have to be myself...but i just want to LAUGH...

tell me the funniest joke u know or any funnest comedy... i just wanna see how much i can laugh...

i think im a bit mad...

*boom boom* INFLATION *boom*

waaa...everything is increasing in price... even my HOSTEL !!! increase of accommodation fee by 20% !!!
well...i know nothing about economics or mathematics or whatever that deals with numbers...
i dunno if such an increase is a big hike...but i know my money is going lesser n lesser... in this case, HOW TO BUY MY DREAM HOUSE??? HOW TO GO TRAVELING???
i dont buy lottery, so there's no chance at all of having a big sum of money falling down from sky...
really must jimat jimat liao lah...

Hi from Bengaluru International Airport

My 2-week holidays flew pass just like that. I'm now again in India.
Right now I'm sitting in the new Bangalore Airport, waiting for my next flight to Belgaum at 9.15am. There is much time to kill. Luckily I'm not alone. Shabbi and Ashwin are here as well.

I don't feel as excited as I was traveling back to Penang. But I do feel like I'm going back to a place where I'm supposed to be. Also a kind of ''going-home'' feeling. Probably I'm too used to my hectic daily routine. I feel exhausted at the end of the day but it was fruitful. I'm glad.

Back at home, however, life is too sedentary. No discipline (mom needs to yell at her top of her voice many times to wake me up), no stress, no ''to-do-list''. After a while, I no longer feel comfortable with this kind of lifestyle.
Even though it was my own house, own room, own cupboard, I feel like I'm just a temporary resident in the house. I dont take my clothes out from the cupboard, I take them from my luggage. I dont find my toothbrush on the basin, I take them out from my toiletries pouch. I dunno where are the knife,plates,mugs,soyasauce,flour, etc are in the kitchen.

And most importantly, I DON'T GET TO DRIVE AROUND!!! So wutever i wanna do i gotta be like...''mommy...i need to get this...get that..i need to go here...i need to go there...'' and mommy will fetch me.. . I know my dad n mom are just worried and protective coz i havent been driving for such long period. But then, I feel odd. Coz in India, i used to get things done by myself. But now i cant. It's ok lah... try to enjoy being a princess for once...

Luckily Bangalore New Airport got wireless. I need to send an sms which cost me Rs3 to get the password. And i can use for 1 hour. Not bad maa hoh..hehehe... Another 7 hours to kill. Not so bad lah hoh? hehehe... hope i can survive this..

And to my ''YL-14'', here i come... hope u are not too dirty n filled with moss for me to clean up...have some mercy on me...